Dad tip #86: Consolidate the baby and cat poop

We're a two baby family. We have a seven month old human baby and and a seven year old feline one.

One thing I got myself in the habit of doing is consolidating the baby and cat poop. When I empty the Diaper Champ, I also scoop the cat litter and deposit the pee clumps and poo into the not-quite-full bag from the Champ. It works out great for everyone involved and it reduces the number of plastic bags we waste.

On Bastille Day, I'll leave you with another of our famous songs with modified lyrics. To the tune of Frère Jacques:

Rancid feces, rancid feces
Cat and human, cat and human
Put them in the same bag, put them in the same bag
It's all poop, it's all poop

Bon nuit!

Dad tip #79: Situational song-making

A quick post tonight ... I've mentioned in the past how much our baby likes it when we sing to him and that it can be fun to make up words to well known songs. I'd just like to add that it's also great when you do it on the spot situationally.

For example, I recently posted about how prunes perform as advertised. This recently inspired the following:

Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like prunes and bananas!
THIS I tell ya brother
You can't eat one without the ... other!

Specifically, our kid can't eat a whole ton of bananas without having at least a little bit of prunes because those bananas really are binding.

By the way, the image at the top came from another blogger's post about banana prune pound cake. Really.

Dad tip #52: Baby still wants to hear you sing!

Waaaaaay back in April when I first started this blog, I posted an article about how "Baby wants to hear you sing and doesn't care how bad you're messing up the song."

About a month and a half later, I'm finding this to be even more true than before. Heck, I'm finding that it's even better when I play guitar and sing, but I'll save that for a post on another day. Anyhow, I figured I'd reiterate that tip and post my wife's verses for the "Hush Little" lullaby (I have no idea what the name of that song actually is):

Hush little {insert child's name} don't you fret,
Daddy's gonna buy you a brand new jet.
On that jet you'll go real far,
Faster than in any car.

Hush little {insert child's name} don't you wail.
Daddy's gonna buy you a boat to sail.
On that boat you'll have some fun,
Playing all day in the sun.

Hush little {insert child's name} don't you boast,
Daddy's gonna make you a slice of toast.
On that toast he'll put some jam,
And perhaps a side of ham.

I figured that was totally worth documenting. I also figured tonight was the perfect night to do it since it's an easier topic to cover. I got home late from work and game 3 of the 2008 NBA Finals is on tonight so a faster post was on the docket. And if you've been following this blog, you'll know how insane I've been about the Celtics.

BEAT LA!

(P.S. If you're looking for that "Frakkin' Toaster" t-shirt, go to Glarkware.)

Dad tip #4: Baby wants to hear you sing and doesn't care how bad you're messing up the song

If there were a time in your life that you wanted to sing your heart out with reckless abandon and no fear of embarrassment, regardless of how good or bad your voice is and regardless of whether or not you even remotely know the words, NOW is the time to do it. Baby is not American Idol's Simon Cowell and baby is also not that high school English teacher that forced you to memorize Shakespearean sonnets word for word.

What this means is: Baby wants to hear you sing and doesn't care how bad you're messing up the song. For example, my wife and I have both composed many "alternate" verses to a well-known children's lullaby, but I'll just share with you a few of mine that you're welcome to adapt for your own child:

Hush little {insert child's name} don't you cry,
Daddy's gonna buy you an apple pie.
And if that apple pie is good,
Daddy's gonna buy some vanilla Hood.

Hush little {insert child's name} don't you fuss.
Daddy's gonna buy you a brand new bus.
The bus will have a lot of seats,
Space for apple pie and treats.

Hush little {insert child's name} don't you kick,
Daddy's gonna buy you a car named KITT.
KITT might try to talk a lot,
That's 'cuz he's a car-robot.

We recommend mixing up the lyrics to traditional children's songs, contemporary pop, and even holiday music. Oh, what's that? You want another sample of our lyrical mastery? Try this one on for size (to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree):

Oh {insert child's name}, oh {insert child's name},
You love to fill your diaper.

You like to pee, you like to poop,
You fill it up, I need a scoop.

Oh {insert child's name}, oh {insert child's name},
You love to fill your diaper.

They say that "music soothes the savage beast". Well, it's a lesser known fact that babies are actually the distant cousins of savage beasts. So enjoy making up words and enjoy singing them because your baby will love you for it. Knight Rider's David Hasselhoff will love you for it too.