Dad tip #118: Kids come up with great expressions for you to over-use

We've had some friends and their kids in town, visiting from Oregon. One of their boys somehow came up with the following phrase:

"You crack me nuts!"

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a variation of "You crack me up" or "You make me nuts"; or some weird pirate-speak or all of the above. Whatever it is, I like it and plan to over-use the expression in any scenario remotely warranting it.

It should be noted that I'm not going to be indiscriminately using kid-coined phrases all the time. This same child is also VERY fond of indicating to anyone that'll listen: "Let's get this party started!" I think it might be said with some kind of funny accent, too. But not an Oregon or pirate accent ... at least, as far as I can tell.

P.S. I also ended up watching parts of five Star Wars movies with this child in two days. Whew! That kid totally cracks me nuts.

Dad tip #111: Organize all your baby clothes

People love to buy clothes for your baby. People also love to give you hand-me-downs. And YOU can't resist buying your baby clothes. What does this mean?

It means that you may end up with more clothes than your baby can reasonably wear for any given age range. If you're not REALLY organized, it's entirely possible that you'll find yourself with completely new and unworn outfits that your baby's already outgrown.

Grouping clothes by size is key. And by size, I mean by physical size and NOT by listed size as every manufacturer has their own ideas of what you can squeeze a baby into and/or how big a baby should be at any age. Progressively packing away clothes that are too small also helps with the baby wardrobe de-confusification.

My wife should consider this post a monumental "Thank you" for all the hard work she puts in to keep our boy's things in order. I don't always say it enough, but I really do appreciate it. I suspect if I were in charge, we'd be finding onesies hidden away when our son is old enough to vote.

(But I'm sure they'd be really awesome Star Wars onesies.)

Dad tip #109: Pottery Barn Kids has vintage Star Wars bedding!

Yup. The title says it all. Pottery Barn Kids has vintage Star Wars bed sheets!

I TOTALLY had those sheets as a kid. The advice here is that you too can relive your childhood. And major mainstream retailers are helping you do it. I mentioned a couple weeks ago how The Gap is selling all kinds of pop culture t-shirts, including Star Wars ones. And now, Pottery Barn is offering up Star Wars bedding.

I suppose I should also mention that Pottery Barn Kids also sells some Superman and Batman goodies, too. But, I think I might be able to build another separate post out of that topic another day.

P.S. I am soooooo ridiculously sad that the Star Wars sheets aren't available in king.

Geek parents unite!

Dad tip #92: Kids Star Wars t-shirts available at The Gap

Okay, today's advice is more of a "heads-up" than it is advice, but maybe it'll still be helpful to someone. As unlikely as it sounds, kids Star Wars t-shirts are indeed available at The Gap!

Furthermore, in some kind of partnership with Junkfood, The Gap is now selling licensed merchandise bearing the trademarks of not only Star Wars, but also Indiana Jones, Speed Racer, The Beatles, Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Hello Kitty, Strawberry Shortcake, Peanuts, The Smurfs, and more. Junkfood apparently has some pretty amazing deals with a lot of different brands. Forming a partnership with a mainstream entity like The Gap is a pure stroke of genius to make those licenses go as far as they can possibly go.

The t-shirts are totally kick-ass, but they're EX-PEN-SIVE! We're talking $22.50 for a shirt that will probably only fit your kid for a couple of months at most. But it may well be his favorite shirt for those few precious months. And afterall, how much is YOUR nostalgia worth to you?

I suspect that Junkfood's license has a limited lifespan so you'd better act sooner than later if you're interested. But the greater sense of urgency to decide whether or not to spend that much money on an article of children's clothing will be The Gap's clockwork seasonal changes of their clothing lines. If you were looking for an adult-sized Junkfood Star Wars t-shirt for yourself, you should checkout the official Star Wars Shop (where some of the Junkfood tees are only $18.50, go figure).

Dad tip #61: Beware teething babies

Tonight's advice will be in the form of a haiku:

Tiny Sarlacc pit
With no teeth on baby's face
Toothless bites still hurt

Okay, I don't know definitively that our baby boy is teething or even close to teething right now. However, he has been more and more inclined to actively gum/chew anything he can put in his mouth as opposed to just passively drooling on it.

Also, with his coordination improving every day, he's able to grab my fingers and jam them into his mouth and then ... CHOMP!!! Now, those toothless baby bites are REALLY starting to hurt.

Dad tip #31: The art of buying a "business trip gift" for your child

I have a tendency to sometimes over think things. The item I'm currently over-thinking is "what 'business trip' gift should I buy my son?"

Sure my kid is only five months old and won't particularly remember that I was even on a business trip at this point in his life, but I'll remember. And given that I'm currently on my third business trip since he was born, I'm starting to get agitated that I can't seem to conceive of some good "theme" to adhere to in my gift selection.

I've thought about all the cheesy usual souveniers: t-shirts/onesies, spoons, magnets, snow globes, thimbles, etc. None of that stuff seems particularly fun, interesting, or meaningful. And so, I'm still in search of a good gift.

It's too bad that The Vader Project isn't an ongoing city-by-city commercial art project! (Actually, it's probably a good thing that it isn't, because it might lose a great deal of its cool factor, but it COULD be awesome if done "tastefully"!)

Dad tip #28: Spend as much time as you can with your baby before you leave on a business trip

What I'm finding is that it gets harder to leave on business trips the older my son gets. Since he's becoming more and more aware of everything around him, I get the sense that this time he'll know I'm not around. That kind of sucks.

So, I recommend spending as much time with your kid as possible before you have to leave. Secondarily, maybe have your wife do some things that may give your child the impression that you're actually there.

For instance, while I'm gone, my wife might play every Star Wars DVD (in the order of their original release), cook up something garlic-y and spicy to fill the house with that familiar aroma, repeatedly make some complaints about how the Celtics are playing well below their ability right now in the 2008 NBA Playoffs, and then play the new Jason Mraz CD We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things non-stop with any time left over. (I've been singing the song "I'm Yours" to Connor as his lullabye for a couple of months now -- I included Jason Mraz's video for the single below.)

Okay, here's the part where I expect anyone I know who's reading this blog to fill the comments with all sorts of other unflattering stuff I do on a regular basis. And ... GO!

Dad tip #6: Amazon Prime is a worthwhile investment

Babies need lots of stuff. They need BPA-free bottles, they need brain-stimulating toys, they need cartoon-related music, they need potty training books, and they NEED Star Wars-themed costumes. Obviously they need lots of love, too.

However, love is available in abundance at home and fortunately does not require any annoying trips to the mall or pesky charges for shipping and handling. Everything else does. You're either stuck bringing your baby to the germ- and jerk-infested corridors of the closest mall or you pay out the wazoo for the convenience of shopping at home and the shipping charges that entails. UNLESS you join Amazon Prime.

[Cue heavenly fanfare and white light from above!]

For $79/year you get unlimited free two-day shipping (or $3.99 overnight shipping) for orders of any size for up to four members in your household. $79 might initially sound like a lot at first, but think of everything baby needs ... if you happen to think of one new thing a day, you can order it guilt- (and shipping fee-) free. Furthermore, it's a LIFESAVER for Christmas shopping. You'll probably break even on that alone.

[Cue the intro music to "The Final Countdown" by Europe.]