Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Dad tip #60: Beware flailing babies

Tonight's advice will be in the form of a haiku:
Chubby arm-windmills
"If do right, no can defend!"
Bye-bye daddy's teeth
I've previously copped out of writing full posts by warning fathers of head-butting babies and kicking babies with haikus. I'm being a lame-o tonight because I'm preparing to attend the parade in Boston tomorrow celebrating the Celtics' 17th NBA Championship!

And yes, I realize that I quoted Mr. Miyagi from the first Karate Kid when I'm obviously thinking of Daniel LaRusso's movie-ending "drum technique" from Karate Kid II. I figured it was close enough to get the point across. Anyway, I'll be the first to admit that I'm always looking for a cheap excuse to lift quotes from Karate Kid.

P.S. The Celtics TOTALLY squished the Lakers like grapes (131-92).

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Monday, May 12, 2008

Dad tip #23: Homemade cards from baby are cute

What's that? Your five month old can't make a homemade card? The frak he can't! Until your kid can smear a bunch of finger paint all over a gigantic sheet of white paper and until your kid can glue a bunch of random crap -- and why does the crap alway include macaroni? -- to a piece of construction paper, it's up to you to make the cards and sign your kid's name to it.

You've got to get into your kid's head before you make the card. You can do it up simple or complicated. For this Mother's Day, I inserted a pop-culture-related inside joke into the following Photoshopped masterpiece:


It's makes your kid look good. It makes mom happy. And, in this case, it's way fun to make references to The Karate Kid.

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