Monday, May 26, 2008

Dad tip #37: Some poo-splosions require more than one person to handle the diaper change

Hypothetically, let's say your child just recently started on rice cereal. Let's also say, hypothetically, that he hasn't pooped in three days. And let's add, hypothetically, that as a result he poops so vigorously that poo ninjas are not only lurking in every imaginable hiding place, but they're also aggressively seeking all possible egresses from the Pamper. For good hypothetical measure, your kid is also playing the "I'm going to pee on you no matter how hard you try to avoid it" game.

Y'know what? It's okay to admit that you need help. When there are too many poo ninjas to deal with on your own, you need to bring in reinforcements. If you don't, you risk making a bigger mess.

You can't expect to handle the situation single-handedly the way Kurt Thomas did kicking the poop out of Eastern European ninjas in Gymkata. Yes, that entire statement is ridiculous. If you've never seen Gymkata, you ... must ... go ... buy ... it ... NOW!!! It's one of my top ten favorite movies of all time because of how unintentionally funny it is.

Uh, what was I talking about again? Oh yes, getting help with poo-splosions.

Yeah, you should do that.

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