Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dad tip #108: Babies are like ... drunks!

For a while now, I've been doing a series of "Beware the __blanking__ baby" posts in the form of haikus. Tonight's advice starts a new series of "Babies are like" posts where I'll compare babies to just about anything I can think of. Before I begin, I'd like to give credit where it's due and acknowledge that the basic idea was inspired by my wife and that tonight's edition comes straight out of my wife's mouth. In fact, she said:
"It's weird. Babies are like drunks. You can't understand them. They pee themselves. And you just want them to go to sleep!"
The main advice that I sort of take out of this is more along the lines of, "You can't reason with a drunk or with a baby, so you just have to suck it up and deal with it from time to time." That said, we came up with some other interesting similarities between drunks and babies:
  • You sometimes find them in parks.
  • Both have terrible senses of balance.
  • They'll get whatever they're eating or drinking all over themselves.
  • People call and ask how they're doing.
  • You might have an inclination to take embarrassing pictures of them.
  • You'll find them riding in the back seats of cars. In the case of drunks: police cars.
And yes, we realize some of these tidbits are more closely aligning babies with full-blown alcoholics, but they're still kind of true (and funny).

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